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Wheelhopper Frequently Asked Questions
Here is the Wheelhopper FAQ, otherwise known as a bunch of garbage pertaining to the Wheelhopper Mountain Bike Hash House Harriers of Atlanta, GA.
Internet: http://www.wheelhopper.com/
Roughly speaking, this document covers what to expect as a new ‘hound’ (the folks who follow the trail), and what is expected out of our volunteer ‘hares’ (the ones who set the trail). Go get a beer, drink it; then open up another beer, come back, and read on, fo' shizzle:
Organization:
*1 The
Hound
-1.1
Dumb
Things to Pack
+1.1.1:
What should I wear?
+1.1.2:
Will there be natural springs along the trail?
+1.1.3:
Do I need pumps, tubes, chains, and tools in case my bike falls
apart?
+1.1.4:
How strictly is the mandatory helmet thing enforced?
+1.1.5:
After the ride: semi-formal? Formal?
-1.2
Before the Ride
+1.2.1: 6 bucks? What do I get for it, who's getting rich off this
scam?
+1.2.2: What's with the waiver ... isn't this informal?
-1.3
The Ride: what are the trail symbols?
-1.4 The Bloody Aftermath: What indecencies will I be exposed to?
*2 The
Hare
-2.1
Where can I find a Good Trail?
+2.1.1
Check Bike Shops
+2.1.2
Check The Internet
+2.1.3
Check The Map
-2.2 How
do I make it a "Hash"?
+2.2.1
Get Permission
+2.2.2
Parking space for the Start
+2.2.3
An Accessible Ending
+2.2.4 Some Trail Basics
+2.2.5
Reccy for a While
+2.2.6
Can I change the start date I signed up for?
-2.3
Buy Some Flour
-2.4
Set the Damn Thing
*3
The Mismanagement
-3.1
Who are these rejects?
+3.1.1
BeerMeister
+3.1.2 HashCash
+3.1.3 HareRaiser
+3.1.4
WheelMaster and WheelMattress
In the winter months, it's probably a good idea to wear some polypro (or other material that won't soak up water and freeze you) shirts and pants. Also, wear shoes that you don't mind getting wet/muddy/bloody.
And for all seasons, it is very appropriate (and sexy) to wear a Wheelhopper T-shirt. Check out the Haberdashery section to see what is currently available. The whole thing is more fun - and safer - if other riders can hear you out on trail, so bring a noise maker other than your larynx. Whistles and bells will work. I particularly like the squeaky whale and bunny horns, but that's just me.
+1.1.2: Will there be natural springs along the trail?
Most likely not, so bring water. We don't provide water on the trail, so be careful to bring enough (15 miles worth is a safe bet). Also, bring any carbo-paste gack you need. How do you guys eat that shit?
Seriously, though, some of the places we ride would make it difficult for a bambalance to get to you if you were to become dehydrated. As for the monthly urban assault, some homeowners might not take too kindly to you drinking out of the sprinkler in their yard or Rover's water dish.
+1.1.3: Do I need pumps, tubes, chains, and tools in case my bike falls apart?
Yeah, you do. (Huh-huh, you said tool!) Other folks may or may not have the tools/replacement parts you need, so self-reliance is preferred. Be sure to check your bike at home for brake problems, tire pressure, chain lubrication, etc. (You're all big boys and girls; you know how important lube is!) Also, a toolkit and patchkit are lifesavers out on trail. If you bring your pumps, make sure they are the spiked heels with SPD.
Speaking of lifesavers, Dr. Doo-Doo recommends Aspirin + Ibuprofen + Tagamet - a Red Bull and a shot of vodka help too - however, he does not recommend filling your Camelback bladder with white wine, at least not on a trail ride. The annual Spring Dress Ride is another matter altogether.
+1.1.4: How strictly is the mandatory helmet thing enforced?
We're sticking to this pretty tightly. We are just an informal club, but since we do accept chipped-in money for beer/drinks/snacks, it is a legal necessity to demand that all beer/drink/snack partakers wear a helmet. Also, certain trails we ride contain in their bike-usage conditions helmet-mandatory clauses. Plus we would prefer not to have to haul you to the hospital... buzzkill. So keep your brains in your heads so you can come ride with us again! Wearing a helmet - and face guard - even after riding may be a good idea too - isn't that right, Jackass?
+1.1.5: After the ride: semi-formal? Formal?
Pack some dry clothes (t-shirt, socks, shoes, and the rest) for after the ride. Pack a bag and the greatly revered Driver of the Bag Truck (often a "Bimbo," AKA someone who didn't ride, but who paid and will be joining us in the post-ride fun and frolic) will make sure your dry clothes are happily awaiting your arrival at the end.
Especially in the winter, it sucks standing around for an hour or more after the ride in wet clothes. Besides, being slathered in creek mud doesn't always put you in the most persuasive position for scoring a ride back to your car.
+1.2.1: 7 bucks? What do I get for it, who's getting rich off this scam?
We budget for flour, beer, sodas (or "Cokes" if you are actually from around here), "malternative" beverages, and muchies for a certain number of people every month. Obviously, we make some guesses. Some weeks we are able to cover costs, some weeks we aren't. Any leftover money goes to the Beermeister's cashbox, who uses it to buy beer (etc.) for the next month's ride. Leftover money also goes toward a fund for buying folks mugs or other commemoratives for jubilee rides such as their 40th ride. (You must hare at least one ride to get a mug.) None of the leftover beer or money goes to the BeerMeister's private stash. None of the money ends up in offshore accounts.
+1.2.2: What's with the waiver? isn't this informal?
See 1.1.4. Yes, we're informal, but we wanted to make it clear to all riders that the club is not responsible for the riders in any legally binding way. The Mismanagement is broke enough as it is without lawsuits...
-1.3 The Ride: what are the trail symbols?
You may see some of the following on trail...
Trail is laid
with puffs of flour. It can be thrown on the ground, wiped on
trees, etc. You
should be able to see the next mark as you pass a mark. While
on true trail
like this, you can usually safely cruise along without worrying
about trail
"disappearing" (veering off in weird directions, etc).
A "check" looks
like a wheel with a few spokes. When you hit one of
these, trail
can pick up in any direction, and the Hare wants you to look around
and find it.
After a check, a rider could encounter a few flour marks, and think
he/she has
found the trail, and then find three lines . This is a backtrack.
It means you
have to go back to the check and try again. Sorry. When true trail
is found, mark
the check by dragging your foot through the check in the direction
of trail, or
place a stick pointing the way. That way others behind you won't
have to follow
the false trail.
Even worse, the
dreaded "YBF" (you've been ...) could be encountered after a
backtrack. This also means that you have to go back to a check and look some more,
but usually you'll find this mark after trail has gone quite a long distance, possibly up/down a major hill. Cursing the Hare's mother and/or extended ancestry, privately or in a more publicly demonstrative way, is not inappropriate at this point.
You might find a
"check back" on trail. This
means you have to go back
the specified number
of flour marks and look around for true trail.
If trail
crosses a road, often you'll see an "on-over".
This means
cross the road and pick up trail on the other side.
Often, we have
long and short trail options. At a split, there should be
two arrows ---
one with an "L" next to it, and one with an "S" next to it.
If trails
re-merge, follow the arrows.
If you've done
all of this properly, you should find after an hour or so.
Beer is Near,
so pick it up on that last uphill!
-1.4 The Bloody Aftermath: What indecencies will I be exposed to?
You'll see.
-2.1 Where can I find a Good Trail?
Often, bike shops will be able to suggest fun local trails. Ask around.
The Internet can
have trail listings that you don't hear about in too
many other
places. You can check out our trails
page and our links
for some good
places to start looking. Connect stuff up with overhead
maps here.
Your local bookseller or outdoor sports store (like REI) should have several from which to choose. You can read, can't you? No? Well, we love you anyways.
Sometimes great
undiscovered trails can be found by looking at area maps
and checking
out "empty areas" (areas of little or no residential use) for
trails.
If you are really motivated, purchase a topographical map of the area
in
question. Trails and old dirt roads are often marked on these maps
when
nothing is
found on the street maps.
-2.2 How do I make it a "Hash?"
It
really is unpleasant if the hash gets chased off land by a
shotgun-wielding
property-owner,
and even less so if we get manacled by the police*, so make
sure you have
permission to have a bike ride. Also, make sure beer and hashers
are allowed at
the ending location, and that we all won't get towed from the
start.
You might be able to start the trail in, or pass though, a park that
does not allow
beer, but end the trail outside the park, where we can discreetly
enjoy our beer
and comraderie.
*If you want to get manacled on your own time, that's your business.
+2.2.2 Parking space for the Start
The start point will
need parking spaces for about 30 vehicles. Large lots near
large grocery stores
work. Sometimes an office park is OK. Or a dead end
dirt road.
Notify the HareRaiser of and provide detailed directions to this
start point location
at least two weeks prior to the ride.
The ending point
should be accessible by the beer-mobile, usually just a car.
Its nice to end
in the shade of the woods but make sure you don't have to haul
the beer
coolers too far. A nice waterfall or sparkling pool add just the
right touch;
but mud up to your ankles works too ... remember this is just a
hash.
The trail is the main
reason we come out to ride so you need to put some effort
into this part.
Try to have short and long options ... hashers can be biking beginners
or racers, so
it's good to give people options.
Here are some
basic trail length guidelines:
Length: Short - 5-10 miles
Long - 10-20 miles
Make the trail interesting by using checks at ambiguous spots along the way.
When merging
short and long trails, always lay flour arrows to point the way.
This will avoid
endless loops. It is OK if you split the trails into
Short and Long
versions and merge again multiple times.
When in doubt, it's best to throw more flour than less.
The thing most
bad trails lack is preparation. It takes quite a bit of time to
lay out a good
trail. Spend at least a couple of afternoons reccy'ing (reconnaissance,
scouting out)
terrain and mapping out a trail.
+2.2.6 Can I change the start date I signed up for?
No. So if you
can't Hare on your appointed date, please let the HareRaiser
know ASAP, for
understandable reasons.
The Hare is responsible for flour. Buy about 4-5 (5lb) bags. The hash will reimburse you.
Get out there early Sunday morning and lay the
trail. It takes a while to ride and
throw flour, so don't start late and run out of time. It helps to
have a co-Hare
to carry flour, help set the
check-points, and set the alternate loops for Short
or Long trails.
The Mismanagement are made up of a few of us
who foolishly return, month after
month, to
ride the Wheelhopper Hash rides. Even after haring more than
our share of the rides we still can't get
enough.
So one of us
voluteers to buy beer (and pop) each month, haul the cases home from
Sams, uncase
it, count the number of each kind of beer, pack it in coolers, buy ice,
and haul the
coolers to the ride each month. Then after the ride he counts the
beers
left-over, cleans the coolers, and hauls out the trash. This is the
BeerMeister.
If any member
of the Mismanagement is worth a damn, it's the BeerMeister.
The Hash Cash
takes your money and makes sure newcomers have signed the waiver.
Hash Cash also pays the BeerMeister and Hares and keeps the money
records.
"Service
My Tool" the Hare Raiser is responsible for raising Hares, making
sure we have
a
ride each month. He also sends out the directions for the next
ride by e-mail,
and updates the Web site with information about the upcoming ride(s).
+3.1.4 WheelMaster and WheelMattress
Our reigning
WheelMaster and WheelMattress, Spermier and Slippery When Wet, are
assisted by the other Mismanagement in leading the Down-Down
ceremonies at the
end of each ride.
These titular
positions round out the current Mismanagement.